Kelsie Kaufism #25

In response to a video of a sloth cuddling a cat (on gmail gchat):

AWWWWWWW

kinda turns me on

SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT

Kelsie Kaufism #24

I'm listening to Drake.  I don't like Drake.

Kelsie Kaufism #23

Me: Hey Kelsie. Say something funny so I can put it on the internet.
Kelsie: Get fucked.

Kelsie Kaufism #22

Do you think I have diabetes?

Kelsie Kaufism #21

I don't know how to make a burger cool. It's a fucking burger. It has 172 sesame seeds. On every single bun.

Kelsie Kaufism #20

I feel like I have a blood clot in my neck ... every time I turn it (insert hand motion and bursting/gushing noise) and I think it's going to burst out my eye.

Kelsie Kaufism #19

Kelsie:  I'm looking at Knoxville missed connections ...

Friend:  But why?

Kelsie:  I wanna move to Tennessee someday.

Friend:  Yeah? 

Kelsie: And I'm going to base that decision on the missed connections.